After the service, I bowed out.I went home to hate myself, to feel the emptiness of ritual forgiving, to understand, once and for all, that love does not conquer all.
- Leona Stucky, The Fog of Faith: Surviving My Impotent God
- Leona Stucky, The Fog of Faith: Surviving My Impotent God
The Fog of Faith: Surviving My Impotent God
Now available on Audible.com
Title: The Fog of Faith: Surviving
My Impotent God
Author: Dr. Leona Stucky
Publisher: Prairie World Press
Publication date: May 2017
Format: Paperback; 340 pages
Trim Size: 5.5 x 8.5 inches
Price: US $18.95
Available: Ingram Book Group, online and bookstores
Praise from Ms. Magazine - "Great Read"
After the trauma of a savage attack, a farm girl recovers physically, but her identity, faith, and relationships are shattered.
This is the true story, recommended by MS Magazine, of Leona Stucky’s childhood on a Kansas farm, surrounded by a loving family and the simple tenets of her Mennonite community. Violence enters her world in the guise of a young man who seems normal to everyone else but whom Leona knows to be deranged in his obsession of her.
His unrelenting abuses take root, and Leona must deal with them utterly alone. Her pacifist father cannot avenge or protect her, nor can a callous justice system. Even God is impotent.
Leona is cast into a bewildering life of disgrace and poverty—with a baby, a violent husband, and battered faith. Through a series of page- turning events, she hacks through the bones of her naiveté to confront harsh realities and to probe the veracity of religious claims.
The Fog of Faith is a suspenseful and morally unflinching drama of shame and survival, as well as use-able and unusual wisdom.
A minister and psychotherapist for more than thirty years, Dr. Leona Stucky became an author by turning the mirror inward to reveal her own personal story in a gripping and morally unflinching memoir, which has received acclaim from MS Magazine. In her professional life as well as her writings, Dr. Stucky plumbed the depths of faith and identity questions she could not answer, studying contrary schools of thought, and speaking what we seldom say out loud. In her life and writing she provokes new discussions with heart-wrenching, vital stories.
"This is powerful story. Beautifully written, it unmasks the grim realities that many victims of domestic violence endure and the resilience required to triumph on the other side of fear and despair. The Fog of Faith: Surviving My Impotent God is a compelling memoir about a Mennonite farm teen in the contentious 1970s. Leona Stucky shares the love of family, raising a child by herself, poverty, and the struggle to escape an obsessive and dangerous husband. The voice of this woman’s spirit and courage rings clearly as she faces the personal challenges of her faith—when the adversity in life tests the veracity of her beliefs against the reality of terror. This book is an important, insightful book that I highly recommend."
– Michael Paymar, author of Violent No More: Helping Men End Domestic Abuse
"Naked with fear, aflame with rage, at once heart-pounding and heart-breaking, this true tale climbs from the wheat fields of Kansas to the promised Heaven above—and down again."
– Robert Mayer, author of The Origin of Sorrow, The Dreams of Ada, Superfolks, and other books
"A practicing psychotherapist, Leona Stucky spends her days examining the lives of her clients. Now, in this stunning memoir, she turns the mirror inward to reveal her own personal history, from the violent boy she was forced to marry to the violent God she was forced to reject. Naked with fear, aflame with rage, at once heart-pounding and heart-breaking, this true tale climbs from the wheat fields of Kansas to the promised Heaven above — and down again. The Fog of Faith: Surviving My Impotent God, glows with the insightful power of necessary art."
–Robert Mayer, Author of The Origin of Sorrow, The Dreams of Ada, Superfolks and other books
"The Fog of Faith by Dr. Leona Stucky is a brave, wrenching memoir that invites readers on a mythopoetic journey of personal transformation and redemption. This book is a quintessentially American story but also a cautionary tale about these turbulent times when violence and brutality often hide behind the mask of innocence. I applaud Dr. Stucky for venturing into dark and foggy places of our collective soul, and retrieving hard-won wisdom to help light our way."
–Stephen Jimenez, bestselling author of The Book of Matt – Hidden Truths About the Murder of Matthew Shepard
"A thought-provoking and engrossing story of domestic violence, The Fog of Faith tells about one woman’s journey of struggle and despair, of hope lost and courage found. You will be shocked by the horrific details of the author’s abusive first marriage and yet moved by the tenderness found in her Mennonite family of origin. You will cheer for Stucky, a real life survivor, a woman of true grit and a tested faith."
–Rev. Lynne Hinton, author of The Art of Arranging Flowers and Pie Tow
"From her farm girl childhood, trusting in a loving God, to welfare mom, rape survivor and eventually psychotherapist helping others deal with their dysfunctional beliefs, Leona Stucky’s memoir traces one woman’s spiritual coming-of-age. Honest and sometimes brutal in its representations of violence, The Fog of Faith exposes a patriarchal religious tradition that has too often subjugated women."
–Rev. Gary Kowalski, Author of The Souls of Animals, Science and the Search for God , Goodbye Friend: Healing Wisdom For Anyone Who Has Ever Lost A Pet, and other books
"In the military I was fortunate to see the strength and inspiring competence of women in very demanding roles. And while this began stripping away the sexist views of my cultural inheritance, it did not provide insight into women’s experience. Through Leona’s writing I felt the impotent rage of being deprived opportunities, even an identity, on the basis of sex and I recognized that the vigilance and undercurrent of fear known to soldiers walking hostile streets is known to women walking in their own neighborhoods."
–William LaRue, PhD, Founder of Compassionate Relating
"This should never have happened. Yet it happened, and now is a riveting true story of family, faith, and a youthful relationship gone terribly wrong. The author questions her faith and her own goodness, struggling for answers. In this memoir, she invites you to share her journey as she explores the meaning of sex, love, religion and self worth."
–Charlotte Berney, author of Fundamentals of Hawaiian Mysticism, Former Editor, Antiques & Fine Art Magazine, Former Editor, Cowboys & Indians Magazine